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How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

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By host - SchoolofLife
People-pleasing behavior, while ostensibly pleasant, causes enormous difficulties for us, especially in relationships and in love. We need to grow better and be able to disappoint others, and to stop fearing when we do so.
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SchoolofLife
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Host
Are you a people pleaser? Let us know in the comments below.
3 mths
Host
I was raised to always treat others with respect and be kind to everyone. I think somewhere in my early life I took this too far and wanted everyone who came across me to have a pleasant experience with me. I later realized that is highly unrealistic as we are all different and no matter how kind you are to someone, it doesn’t mean they mesh with you or have to like you. And that is totally okay! I feel as you get older, you start to realize that.
3 mths
Host
Ouch, this hits very very hard.
3 mths
Host
Sounds a lot like me... I feel immensely guilty whenever I so much as think I've caused someone even the slightest bit of displeasure.
3 mths
Host
This is completely me. It's awful, I might say. I try to be as neutral as possible, try to be as quiet as possible, try to be the best person of all to anyone. In childhood, I never could reply my bullies, actually, I always tried to be a very cool person to them. I always liked to draw and make art, so in art classes all my bullies would come to me and ask"would you like to draw it for me???" and I knew I couldn't say no. I'd be bullied again. I think this might be a factor that made me grew up like this.
3 mths
Host
It's too fricking hard to me to say"no". I always say"maybe","perhaps?","who knows?","maybe I'll want to do it later". Sellers, specially street sellers, LOVE me. They'll show me whatever they're trying to sell and I can't say no. It's awful.
2 mths
Host
I was once a people pleaser until I began to realize that people were taking advantage of my kindness and when I needed help from those I have helped they never even bothered to help me. I got tired of it.
2 mths
Host
It's a very interesting subject. Being compassionate and attentive to other people's needs does not equate to going along with people's wishes. Sometimes a hard truth might be the most compassionate thing one can say. And sometimes evading that hard truth is better. I think it is one of the instances when one has to be wise in order to walk the line between people-pleasing and not-caring carefully. It is also true for artists who have to be relatable at some level (in order for their audiences to be able to"read" their work) and faithful to whatever truth they are trying to express.
2 mths
Host
How do we get over those feelings of unworthiness? I feel like I need to please people in order to 'earn' their love. And if I stop pleasing them, they will surely leave or disappear. And the world seems to teach me that over and over.
2 mths
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Host
Wow, I’ve been thinking about it lately. How being born as the eldest child makes me a perfectionist and people pleaser in order to gain attention. I have been stressed out a lot because in many situations I can’t please everyone, but I still try to, and give up my own happiness just so others would like me more.
2 mths
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Host
sacrifying myself to please others to gain the love I didn't have from my peers when I was younger. I'm constantly trying to make others happy in hope that, in turn, it will make ME happy. And even if I'm beginning to realise how harmful my behaviour is, I can't help but do it, fearing that if I stop, they won't be friend with me anymore. But deep down I know it's not true, deep down I know that I am not in the same toxic environment as I was in my earlier years but the fear of rejection still blinds my common sense.
2 mths
Host
I feel guilty of being that at times.. But I believe you should still try pleasing others without costing your own comfort.
2 mths
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