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Parenting & Childcare

Mollycoddling our kids fuels mental illness

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naomi-williams
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By host - naomi-williams"If we overprotect kids and keep them “safe” from unpleasant social situations and negative emotions, we deprive them of the challenges and opportunities for skill-building they need to grow strong."
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naomi-williams
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If parents are anxious & overprotective it's largely because we place such heavy expectations on them - and now they have to deal with being either called helicopter parents or charged with neglect if they put a foot wrong
3 mths
Host
It is a recurrent and incorrect belief to equate strength or resilience with mental health and, correspondingly, mental illness with weakness. Mental illness is not a weakness. Resilience in humans is a wonderful quality. You cannot train people to avoid genuine mental illness.
3 mths
Host
It doesn’t mean not loving or being harsh. It means talking about real life to them in ways they developmentally can receive it as they grow. The world is not unicorns and sugar 99 percent of the time. Don’t destroy dreams. But do create realistic reasoning and skills to cope with adversity not just happiness.
3 mths
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Couldn't agree more. My partner and I decided to give our child a 70s-style childhood (minus the beatings!) and so far (she is 12), she is a robust personality who copes exceptionally well with life. Prepare the child for the road not the road for the child sums it up perfectly. Fingers crossed it will see her keep her robustness throughout life and actually enjoy life rather than be destroyed by it, as so many of the younger people I work with seem to be.
3 mths
Host
I once met a father who drove his two children to secondary school when they were close enough to walk to it 'because you never know who's out there and what they are thinking'. It'll be interesting to see what happens when these two have to navigate the world alone!
3 mths
richard-nobes, diego-robinson, kripimehra and 7 other people started following this discussion
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The kids are stressed out because they know the planet is in peril. Not because moms are too attentive.
3 mths
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Or maybe we just are teaching them to be kind, helpful, and accepting of others so that when they grow up maybe they will make the world better.
3 mths
Host
This is correlation, not causation. A bunch of"in my day" BS.
3 mths
Host
From what I have seen in the work I do, stress and anxiety levels are rising because of neglect, poverty, abuse, social media pressures, academic pressures, over busy parents, lack of sleep, and a negative world view promoted by the tabloids and other media. There’s probably a small percentage due to ‘mollycoddling’ but the majority of cases of mental health issues are not caused by this. IMHO
3 mths
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Host
Children need sensible boundaries, consequences (not punishment)for breaking rules and yes, unconditional love but they also need to know they can’t have everything and to accept ‘no’ as an answer.
3 mths
Host
Long story short - millennials are snowflakes, we were stronger. Couldn't possibly be anything to do with the challenges they face and we did not as we just couldn't reconcile that.
3 mths
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Blame the parents! It seems to be the psychologists answer to everything!
3 mths