Apply to be a leader
Others

Tabitha King called out the sexist media reactions

867
luisa-rodriguez
luisa-rodriguezHost

Drop file here to send
Expired
By host - luisa-rodriguez
If you’ve read Stephen King’s autobiography, you know what a critical role his wife Tabitha played in helping to launch his writing career. She’s an acclaimed artist in her own right with eight novels and two non-fiction titles. Most importantly, she’s not just “Stephen King’s wife,” an afterthought to be casually referenced in whatever thing her more famous husband is doing in the world.

Case in point, the Kings made a recent major charitable donation to the New England Historic Genealogical Society. It was an gift whose roots came from Tabitha King. However, in the media’s coverage of the donation, nearly all the attention was focused on Stephen King himself. That didn’t sit well with Tabitha or her spouse, the world’s most iconic living fiction writer, who shared a letter from his wife in a Facebook post:

My wife is rightly pissed by headlines like this: “Stephen King and his wife donate $1.25M to New England Historic Genealogical Society.” The gift was her original idea, and she has a name: TABITHA KING. Her response follows.

Dear Editors (married to a wife or a husband):

In recent media coverage of a gift that my husband (ironic usage) and I made to the New England Historical and Genealogical Society, we became Stephen King and his wife.

Wife is a relationship or status. It is not an identity.

You could have made other choices. You could have referred to me as OfStephen. Or His Old Lady. Or His-Ball-And-Chain.

I have sons. You could have referred to me as Mother-of-Novelists. I have a daughter but wouldn’t it be just silly to refer to me as Mother-of-Clergy?

I’m seventy. I thought I would give you permission, if “OfTabitha” predeceases me, to title my obituary, Relick of Stephen King.

In the meantime, you might consider the unconscious condescension in your style book, and give women their names.

Image Credit: Upworthy
This discussion is set to be extendable. After it expires, the content will remain, but all guests will be removed. After that if any guests decide to join it, more days will be added to the discussion
luisa-rodriguez
luisa-rodriguez followed this discussion
randal-herron followed this discussion
Host
I thought Stephen King was gay. I'm so glad they said his wife cause it totally cleared something up for me.
1 mth
Host
hi
1 mth
10 more people followed this discussion
glen-moye, patsy-dee, arsenio-cecilia-felix and 7 other people started following this discussion
Host
Even if she isn't an acclaimed artist in her own right as in this case... even if a person does not have a public profile.... they should still be named instead of... wife of.... husband of... partner of. They are their own person. If it is worth reporting on then name them both.
1 mth
Host
This comment has been removed
1 mth
Host
1 mth
10 more people followed this discussion
More than 50 people have joined this discussion.
Host
I think the headlines would be pretty darn similar if it were, say, J.K. Rowling and spouse. I don't really see how"person donates to genealogical society" is newsworthy even WITH his super-celebrity attached, but it certainly wouldn't be something most of us ever heard about otherwise...
1 mth
Host
I think thou dost protest too much. Ego and philanthropy don't mix. I thought people did these things for goodness of its own sake not to get their name in the paper.
1 mth
Host
I know the name issue may seem like a small thing to some but it’s not! It makes us invisible and negates our experiences, value and history. I didn’t change my name when married and have no problem with women who chose to do so. But I do have a problem when I have to fight with the bank to get my name on the cheque’s, get my name on our condo accounts (because I am not the primary...what the Hell). Also it is frustrating when meeting new people and they ask what my husband did/does for a living and never once am I asked even though I worked and had a high level career. Grrr
1 mth
Host
For all commenting on why her image wasn’t used, put down your torches and pitch forks and actually read the article, it states why within.
1 mth
More than 100 people have joined this discussion.
Host
This is such a true representation of how ‘wives’ or spouses, partners etc. are depicted. No names. Had a restaurant and I was just the wife in newspaper articles, like I had nothing to do with it. It does get tiresome. When my daughter was born, her Dad’s name was crossed out because we weren’t married. Tabitha exists!
1 mth
Host
Right on Tabitha. 4 yrs I've sent donations 2 charities. Thank you is always addressed 2 my husband. Last yr, w/every donation, I sent a letter saying if they couldn't acknowledge me, they'd never get another dime
2 of them sent apologies. They now get much larger donations cuz all the others get nothing!
1 mth